Seriously. The next time someone comes up to me when I'm in the park with my kids and suggests I start picking up every leaf and twig I find on the ground because "the kids might like to play with them, they come in handy for so many things you know..." I'm actually going to swing for them. I'm not kidding. Honestly, who wouldn't look like a weirdo scouring the dog-shit covered park floor for dead leaves and shoving them frantically into their pockets while some children, presumably theirs, run around in the aforementioned dog-shit without looking where they're going?? I'm sorry but I love my kids, but not THAT much. If they want leaves then they can go into the bloody garden and get them themselves.
These smug parents are also the ones who will chatter on for 2 hours about how they only buy organic food these days because little Tarquin deserves superior foods... Now I'm sorry, but I'm a mum of two. One is 2 years old (going on 13) and the other is 7 months. The 7 month old is crawling and pulling himself up into a standing position on EVERYTHING whether it's stable or not and I just don't have 4 hours to spend scouring my home town for superior organic foods and, come to that, neither do I have the 5 hours spare it takes to prepare a 4 course organic meal. If I'm tired/busy I will make the boys beans on toast for dinner. They don't care, it's warm, it's filling and it tastes good, as long as they're eating they don't care what it is! I don't do it every day, I prefer them to have a balanced meal but sometimes I'm so rushed off my feet that I don't get to sit down until after they've gone to bed. I write this blog during their naptimes, in between doing the washing, the dishes and general tidying up because by 8pm my brain has stopped working and I'm running on adrenaline and auto pilot.
I have nothing against the type of parent thats organised and can somehow juggle a perfectly tidy house, fantastic meals and wonderful children, but I'm not like that and I don't need little "tips" about how to do it shoved down my throat. I live in perpetual mess, I eat beans on toast and my toddler ocassionally says the F word if he thinks I'm not listening and can't tell him off, but honestly, I like it this way!